How's Life?

Things are good. 

Other than a few minor aches and pains, I'm feeling really good!  I've been out and about the last two days - shopping with family and Santa.  Leaving the house forces me to do a couple of things:  shower, get dressed, put on my face and hairdo and get out and WALK!  It's been really cold here lately...so, walking outdoors is out of the question.  And, I have to admit, treadmill walking (while great!) was starting to get old.  My hope is to pick it up again this coming week.

The minor pains I've been experiencing have something to do with muscle pain; under my left breast.  Well, that's what my nurse said when I called to ask...as she put it "you just had major surgery, things are going to hurt, things aren't going to feel great even after two weeks..." - so, I guess I just need to give it a bit more time.  Back to the pain...it's not there all the time.  It's brought on my the oddest thing...wearing a bra.  An underwire bra.  The only kind of bra I wear in public.  It appears that the wire pushes against that muscle just the right way.  So, getting into the car, driving, hitting the few (not!) pot holes and such really do me in when wearing a bra. But, a teaspoon and a half of Roxicet while wearing a bra means that the pain doesn't last as long as it could.  So, I've been bringing my Roxicet with me...just in case.  Other than the odd, muscle/bra pain, I am pretty much pain free.  My incisions are healing nicely but sometime itch and burn slightly.  Both normal for me. Here are my incisions 11 days post-op:

So, the BIG question...what am I eating and what's eating like?  Eating is working pretty well.  I highly doubt I am making the protein goals of my program.  I realize that and I completely understand it as well.  However, my focus has been to stay hydrated and take in as many fluids as possible.  In addition, increase my protein daily.  So, while I'm not there yet...I will be there eventually.  And, keep in mind, I am still on full liquids and will be until at least April 7.  That seems much too long....but....it is what it is. 

A few of my staples throughout the course of normal day:

Loose Cream of Wheat, pureed corned beef hash, Chobani Greek Yogurt, unsweetened applesauce, sugar free popsicles and Italian ice, some RTD protein beverages, pureed Dinty Moore Beef Stew, herbal tea, sugar free jello and pudding and....drumroll please.....Campbell's Tomato Soup.

I love, love, love this stuff!!!  Loved it prior to surgery but rarely enjoyed it...it seemed like I saved it for those freezing, snowy days.  But now, Mmm, Mmm, Good!  I am eating nearly a can a day made with 2% lactose-free milk. And, it's easy to add to as well.  I purchased a can of fire roasted diced tomatoes and pureed about 2 ounces of them with my awesome immersion blender.  Then, I simply add to my tomato soup and...Delish!  Tonight, I added my regular fire roasted tomatoes and a Laughing Cow Cheese Wedge - even more Delish!  I can honestly say, the immersion blender has been, by far, my best purchase in preparing for WLS.  I use it several times a day...and, everything about using it (and cleaning it!) is simple!

My gas/explosive/toilet issue has seemed to resolve itself as of a couple of days ago....so far, so good.  I did take some time away from my meds but started introducing them back into my daily routine yesterday. No problems as of yet - good thing!

As for my weight...I had always thought I'd be a slow loser - or, what I would consider a slow loser.  And, I'm thinking I was right.  I'm down 8 lbs since surgery.  Not horrible. And, I know I'm losing inches as my jeans are really loose in the rear.  Even Santa asked me if my pants were unbuttoned earlier today as they "seem so loose" - but, nope...that's just my shrinking beeeeehind. ;)

So, all is good for now...hope all is good with you too!  Stay tuned to early this coming week....I'm looking forward to doing a small giveaway with several samples!  I'm not using them and figure someone else must have a use for them!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Post Op Week 1

I can't even believe it!  Surgery was a week ago...already...my, time does fly!  So, what has my week looked like now that I'm a newbie Sleever?  It's full of new experiences, changes and adjustments.  I thought long and hard about how to list these things and decided that the following way would work best:

Incisions:  They are healing nicely.  I have been to known to have minor reactions to Steri-Strips but, with this surgery, my reaction has been minor. I've noticed if I take it easy with lifting myself, getting out of bed the right way, and easing myself off the recliner (or have Santa help me), my incisions are not as irritated.  The day I got home from the hospital, my wounds were surrounded by raised, blotchy, red skin.  So happy this has cleared up.  Bruising is still significant but is getting much better.  I've included a recent belly photo below...please know that incision #5 was not a surgical incision but, instead, my drain site. #4 is my largest incision and the one where the removed stomach came out.

Pain:  I have to be honest here, my pain is minimal. I have pain from the incisions themselves and the Steri-Strips pinching the skin.  I also have some odd paid under my left breast (near to incision #2) but it feels more like a muscle and/or rib pain than anything else. For this pain (and that of my incisions), I am taking liquid Roxicet.  I average about 3-4 times per day; 1 1/2 teaspoons each time.  Eating and/or drinking sometimes cause a very, very mild pain.  I'm not even sure I'd refer to it as a "pain" but, rather, a discomfort.  Put it this way, I know when I am full, when I eat/drink something to fast, take too large of a sip/bite and eat/drink something too hot/cold.  Again, not a real "pain" when these things occur...but, my Sleeve sure let's me know that all isn't cozy in Sleeveland.

Eating/Drinking: I am managing my full liquids with little issue.  As previously mentioned, very cold (or hot) items tend to cause a bit of an issue with my sleeve.  My program goal is to get in at least 64 ounces of liquid, 60 grams of protein and between 600 to 800 calories daily.  Yeah, I'm not exactly there yet.  But, working on it!  I've been in the neighborhood of 55 ounces of liquid, 48-55 grams of protein and 400-600 calories daily.  But, I'm certain this will increase with time.  So, what AM I eating...here's a short list for you: sugar free pudding and jello, cream/no chunks added soups, broths, blended cottage cheese, yogurt, ricotta cheese, plain/smooth tomato sauce, protein drinks/shakes, sugar free popsicles, water, light juices, Nectar unflavored medical protein powder, sugar free applesauce, fat free and 2 % Lactaid.

What Goes In Must Come Out & Meds: I was started on a liquid stool softener upon returning home.  Umm...I've stopped taking it.  OHers are right when they say "Liquid In, Liquid Out" and even more correct when they tell newbies to "never trust a fart" - I didn't "get" that one until a couple of days ago.  The strange change in your bowels is really odd.  TMI ALERT:  My stomach muscles aren't working like they should be and, as a result, it's difficult to "push" things out - if you know what I mean.  The interesting thing is, I don't even have to push...it just kind of comes out - yep - on it's own.  So, when you get the feeling like something magical is about to happen, you better sit on the pot.  And, even if it's a tablespoon or two - I found myself celebrating.  Well, not anymore.  Now, it's just old news and is getting tiring. I plan to call my nurse and ask her about taking something for this if it doesn't improve in a few days.  Other than the Roxicet for pain and the stool softener, I was also prescribed Ursodiol to help prevent gallstones (I will stay on this for 6 months) and liquid Zantac to prevent any reflux (I'll stay on this for the next 6 months as well). I am also *beginning* to think one of these meds (maybe the Ursodiol) is contributing to my stomach/gas/big d issue.

Struggles/Other Changes/Thing I find helpful: For me, it was the things I didn't think of that are causing me some issues.  Getting out of the recliner is tough and, if I haven't taken my pain meds, I require Santa to pull me into an upright position.  I thought I was going to end up sleeping in the recliner instead of the bed as I though it would be easier to get out of - I was wrong!  Sleeping isn't that bad although I'm using a wedge in my bed.  Be sure to learn how to get in and out of bed.  Sit on the side, go down onto one shoulder and then bring one leg at a time into the bed and turn.  MUCH less painful. Wiping after going to the bathroom can be done but it can be a bit uncomfortable.  Pushing - yes, stool.  Forget it...you have no idea how much you use those stomach muscles.  Or, take it really slow with deep breaths in between pushes.  Sneezing, coughing, riding/getting in and out of a car - use a pillow!  Showering hasn't been bad but washing and conditioning hair requires your arms above your head for awhile (if you have a good amount of hair) and this can be awkward. Bending down to pick something up....forgeddaboudit - or, invest in a gripper.  Other things I like having near me:  a variety of chairs to sit in, tray tables to put near said chairs, tissues, remote, phone and laptop!  And, other things that I have found to be extremely helpful on my journey thus far: small (baby size) spoons, 4oz containers with lids, measuring cups/glassware, digital kitchen scale and, by far, my best purchase: immersion blender!  I purchased the Cuisinart SmartStick from Amazon for under $30 - ummm...hellllllo....BEST kitchen invention ever!  Find it listed in My Suggestions! 


Well, that pretty much sums up my first week post op - looking forward to the weeks to come!



My surgery play-by-play ~ Part 2

I have to be honest here, I don't remember much about waking up in recovery.  I do remember the postop staff saying my name, telling me that my surgery was all done and responding to them.  I don't remember being in any pain. I was in-and-out of sleep my entire time in recovery - about 2 hours.

I remember feeling happy about being moved to my room but I don't remember much of anything else.  My family came to my room shortly after I was moved there and now report that I was "out of it" and stated that I had pain and was tired.  I don't remember any of that.  I came out of surgery with a NG Tube, JP Drain and Foley Catheter. What bothered me most was my dry mouth.  Keep in mind, I had not had anything to drink since midnight the night before...this was 13+ hours later. I do remember my second shift nurse getting me out of bed to walk me around the halls.  And, I did it.

Day 1 Post Op: My dry mouth bothered me more than anything.  Making things worse was the damn NG Tube.  Now, I know many surgeons do not use this after surgery but my surgeon, for some reason which I will not complain about, loves to take all precautions possible.  His feeling is that the tube helps to keep pressure off of the new staple line.  So, I knew it was for the best. Still, I didn't like it at all and it was very uncomfortable.  To combat the dry mouth, the nurses bring you cups of ice with sponge lollipops.  While it felt great, it got old rather quickly.  I will admit, a few times, I took one or two of the very small ice chips and just let them disolve in my mouth. I also kept a cold face cloth around all the time and continued using it to wipe my face.  I was also asked to walk again and I did...not very long walks but I was, at least, moving.  One very unpleasant thing that started on this day was some sort of odd nausea - I've never experieinced anything like this before.  What would happen is that my mouth would fill up with very hot spit/saliva and I would have to spit it out into tissues.  When I mentioned this to my surgery fellow and nurse, they both mentioned the possibility that the NG tube may be contributing to this issue as it seemed to have something to do with my gag reflex as well.  Whatever it was, I didn't like it.  They were very kind, though, and started ne on a nausea med.  Not sure if it helped or not but the nausea came and went over that 1st day. This nausea issue made for a rough visit for my family.  I wasn't happy with the new problem, still had my tube, drain and catheter and was just pretty miserable all day. My surgery fellow informed me that I'd be having my swallow test the following morning.  And, he gave me hope that my NG Tube would be coming out as well! For some reason, it was about 5:00 and I (out of the blue!) felt like someone had "flipped a switch" on my general feeling.  Not sure if it was the anesthesia wearing off or what but, after 5:00, I felt so much better!

Day 2 Post Op: At 8:30, my surgery fellow entered the room to take out the NG tube.  I was so nervous and asked him if it would hurt. He said no.  There was also another surgical staff member with him to offered to hold my hand while the fellow took the tube out.  I was all for that!  The tube came out rather quicky.  It was a bit gross in that you can feel it come up all the way from your stomach to your nose.  A tad painful, mostly awkward and uncomfortable and it certainly makes you want to gag quite a bit. Regardless of all that, we got it out!  I was thrilled!!  I did, sadly, end up with a bloody nose...I think it was a combination of the tube and the dryness in the room.  It didn't last long and if that was the price I had to pay for getting that tube out...no problem!  One down...two to go.  But first, my swallow (aka "leak") test. 

I was taken to my test at around 10:00 on Day 2 Post Op.  It wasn't that bad.  First, I had an xray of my stomach taken.  Then, I was asked to drink a "big gulp" of the first contrast.  It was a thin, but bitter, liquid.  And, yeah...sorry xray tech, I haven't had anything by mouth in nearly 40 hours....there is no way in hell I was going to take a "big gulp" of anything.  So, I took what I thought I could handle, swallowed and then they took a few images.  The second contrast was a much thicker barium.  It tasted like chalk (aka not good) and was very thick.  Again, I took what I could and swallowed and, again, they got the pictures they needed.  Immediately afterwards, the tech showed me the images and I actually got to watch the contrast move through my (TINY!!!) sleeve and into my small intestine.  Talk about pretty cool. Everything looked good.  The only problem after this....two (rather large) sips of these contrasts and I was stuffed!

After I returned to my room, I was given methylene blue.  Another dye to check for any sort of leakage.  If there was a leak, the contents of my drain would be blue.  This stuff was HORRIBLE.  Bitter, tasted like old ass and just plain wrong.  I'll also confess...I didn't drink all they asked me to.  I drank 2 small medicine cups of it mixed with water...well, mostly water.  And, the rest...well, I chucked it.  That's how bad it was.  Imagine drinking pure food coloring. My lips were blue, my tongue was blue. Ugh. On the good side, shortly after this, I started on the Stage 1 Diet....water only...small sips and my goal was 1 to 2 oz per hour.  No problem!  It felt great to drink water! Within a couple of hours, I was advanced to Stage 2...clear liquids and 2-4 oz per 15-20 minutes.  My choices were Raspberry or Lemonade Crystal Light.  I chose Raspberry and it was YUMMY.  Unfortunately, I started to find out then and continue to find out that my sleeve isn't really crazy about Crystal Light.  I'm not sure why this is yet.  I love the stuff, it tastes great but it makes my sleeve gargle and gurgle and gives me some sort of tight feeling in my sleeve - strange.

A short time later, my nurse came into my room and said she was going to remove my catheter...yeeehaaa! Now, I won't lie...I was petrified.  The thought of something being pulled out of my bladder didn't leave me with the best feeling in the world.  I had a cystoscopy a few years ago and remember it hurting like hell.  So, thus the reason for my nerves.  Truth is, it wasn't bad at all and it came out within a matter of seconds.  I will say that my bladder felt puffy for the entire day afterwards...something to do with the balloon they use, I guess.

I spent the rest of the day sipping, visiting with my family, going for short walks around the floor and just resting. 

Day 3 Post Op: Got a great night sleep and I was ready to go home!  At around 7:00, my fellow came in, checked my incisions and commented he'd be back in awhile to remove my drain.  He did note that my incisions were quite red but wasn't all that concerned as it wasn't just one of them, it was all of them.  I did tell him that I had a similar experience with Steri-Strips in the past so he assumed it might be a specific reaction.  I thought that as well...and, continue to think that.  Thus the reason I mentioned my past experience to the preop nurse.  Oh well.

When it was time to remove my drain, of course, I was scared as heck all over again!  I asked the fellow if it would hurt and, again, he said "no" and that it was more likely just "uncomfortable" - well...he was only partially right as it was a bit painful.  I very odd sensation, that's for sure.  He cut the stitch that was holding the drain to me...this thing was such a pain...I felt it pulling all the time even though it was pinned to my gown.  Anyway, after cutting the stitch, he told me to take in a few deep breaths and he began to pull it out.  I had no idea how long it was and you can really feel it pass through your entire abdomen.  Odd.  All in all, it went by rather quickly and then it was out.  He placed some gauze where the drain was, taped it and told me it should close within a few days.  I hope he's right!

Right after my drain was taken out, my family arrived to take me home!  Thankfully, my wonderful Santa had brought a pillow for me to use on my belly on the ride home.  If you are preop - it helps!!!  I then had my IV ports removed, got my discharge information, filled one of my scripts and was on my way.  All in all, my hospital stay wasn't bad at all.  A few of the staff were actually WONDERFUL!  And, everyone at BIDMC was extremely friendly.

So, that's it - my entire surgical experience.  Hope it helps someone like other stories have helped me.  Questions?  Please don't hesitate to ask!

My surgery play-by-play ~ Part 1

We left for the hospital at 6:20 in the morning on Tuesday, 3/15.  I needed to be there for 8:30 but traffic at that time in the morning is usually awful and seems to always put us an hour behind.  So, I wanted to be sure we had plenty of time.  By the time we hit the valet, checked in at registration and so on...it was already 8:00. I was presented with one of those restaurant wait buzzers and it went off at 8:50. We got our things together and followed the concierge up to the preop area.  Everything seemed to move pretty quickly after that.  The only thing that didn't move quickly was the fact that I had mild pain from a tad of constipation and the fact that I wasn't able to eat anything since 7:00 on Monday night and drink anything since midnight.  Oh, my last meal on Monday was the best ever.  A whole wheat english muffin with a tad of olive oil, sliced tomato, a tad more olive oil and then a 1 ounce slice of part skim mozzarella - toasted.  Delish.

I was called into the back while my family waited for me.  In the back, I got into my surgery attire (aka gown-slit in the back, hat and socks) and answered a bunch of questions.  I packed all my belongings into the patient belonging bag, got onto my nice comfy bed (NOT) and my family was brought back to wait in the holding area with me.  There were several of us having all different kinds of surgeries in the holding area - we were all separated by curtains.

My preop nurse was great - she talked to us about normal, everyday things, answered a few questions and kept us at ease. A few minutes later, my surgeon and one of the surgery fellows came in to speak with us.  He answered a few more questions that I had, wished me luck, told me everything would be fine, confirmed Santa's cell phone number so that he could reach him as soon as surgery was over.  After that, my surgical nurse came into the room.  LOVED her.  She was this very tiny woman with a wonderful South African accent...she proceeded to tell me that I was going to lose her (all 97 pounds of her!) plus more!  She was so positive and encouraging...thank goodness! At that moment, it was exactly what I needed to hear.  And, finally, my anesthesiologist came in and introduced herself.  I was also joined by a wonderful anesthesiology student who was visiting from Oxford in London.  Again, both of these women were excellent as well.  They truly put me and my family at ease. And then, more medical students, residents and fellows!  I couldn't help but wonder where all these people were going to be in the operating room!  Nearly all of them went over my choice of surgery....really good thing as (thanks to a vet OHer), I really wanted to be sure I wouldn't wake up with a penis on my forehead!

Anesthesia placed my IV and, nearly right away, I was given meds to help me relax.  And, I did just that.  For a few minutes anyway.  I said goodbye to my wonderful family, shed a tear or two (normal for me) and was wheeled away to the operating room at 10:45.

Once in the operating room, it was "here you go, Mrs. Claus, take a few deep breaths from this oxygen mask and then we'll put you to sleep."  And, that's exactly what they did.

Surgery Eve...

Well, the last two weeks have gone by incredibly fast.  I am ready.  I guess.  As ready as I'll ever be.  I have researched and studied, adjusted my diet, incorporated exercise into my life, done all I can to prepare myself for tomorrow and the days, weeks and months to come.

Surgery is tomorrow morning and I'm hoping to post all about it as soon as I'm able.

I'm ready and I need to do this.  For me.  For my life.

See you on the Loser's Bench.

Time is flying...

Geesh!  Who would've thought that life would get in the way of blogging?!  How dare it!

I am 11 days into my preop lifestyle and 14 days into my daily exercise plan (with a one day exercise break).  So, how are things going?  Pretty damn good!

I've consumed between 800-1000 calories each day for the past 11 days.  And, I've walked (between 2.5 - 3 mpg) for 30 minutes for each day as well - with the exception of last Saturday. I'm really feeling great and I'm down nearly 10 pounds as well.

In comparing my program's preop plan to a typical day, I'm (for the most part) right on track.  I am not taking in as much as I should and, every so often, not hitting my third protein source but I think I'm still doing alright.

A typical day looks something like this:

Breakfast:  20oz Protein Blitz (love, love, love - especially the Fruit Punch and Orange Mango!)
Lunch:  Pure Protein or Supreme Protein Bar
Snack: 1/2 cup Sugar Free Jello or 1 cup baby carrots
Dinner:  4oz lean protein, 1 cup veggies, 1/2 cup carb
Snack: 1/2 cup dairy, carb if not used for the day, protein bar/shake
As I mentioned in a previous post, I do have a list of select "free" items to choose from and it seems to be working out really well. 

Not sure if any of you are into tracking your intake and fitness, but I LOVE tracking via the Daily Plate!  It's such a helpful website and really helps to put things into perspective for you. 

Also, my program offers a great booklet to see us through the entire process from the moment you enter their bariatric program.  This booklet has been so helpful to me and I know it'll be likely more helpful in the days and weeks to come.  There is a section all about exercise and one thing that I read that really sticks out to me is this "Exercise for 30 minutes at least 5 days per week.  Remember: it only takes 2 weeks to make something a habit!"  I am really loving my daily treadmill sessions.  I'm finding them to be a great stress relief and I've found that getting on after work feels great.  Sadly, I've had a long week at work and that means getting on the treadmill after dinner and pretty late.  But, at least I made it a point to just do it!  And, as crazy as it may seem, I think I'm sleeping better because of my walking sessions as well. Yeeeehaaaa!

Back to the food.  To get a better idea as to what I'm stuffing my face with, here it is...

Today:

Food Item	Servings	Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
Designer Whey Protein Blitz	1.00	120	0g	3mg	45mg	1g	1g	0g	30g
Sugar Free Strawberry Jello	1.00	10	0g	0mg	45mg	0g	0g	0g	1g
Supreme Protein Supreme Protein (snack Size) Peanut Butter Pretzel Twist	1.00	210	9g	5mg	100mg	17g	3g	0g	15g
Chi-Chi's Whole Wheat Tortilla	1.00	170	4g	0mg	500mg	28g	1g	3g	5g
Perdue Chicken Tenders	1.67	167	1g	125mg	551mg	0g	0g	0g	40g
Onions	0.25	16	0g	0mg	2mg	4g	2g	1g	0g
Green Bell Pepper	0.25	8	0g	0mg	1mg	2g	1g	1g	0g
Fresh Express Green And Crisp	1.00	15	0g	0mg	10mg	3g	2g	1g	1g
Wish-Bone Light Balsamic & Basil Vinaigrette	1.00	60	5g	0mg	290mg	3g	2g	0g	0g

Two days ago:

Food Item	Servings	Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
Designer Whey Protein Blitz	1.00	120	0g	3mg	45mg	1g	1g	0g	30g
Sugar Free Strawberry Jello	1.00	10	0g	0mg	45mg	0g	0g	0g	1g
Atkins Atkins Adventage Chocolate Chip Granola Bar	1.00	200	9g	0mg	110mg	19g	1g	1g	17g
Perdue Ground Chicken Burger (cooked)	1.00	160	10g	105mg	45mg	1g	0g	0g	17g
Onions	0.06	4	0g	0mg	0mg	1g	0g	0g	0g
Price Chopper Canned Mushrooms	0.13	3	0g	0mg	52mg	0g	0g	0g	0g
Thomas' 100% Whole Wheat	1.00	130	1g	0mg	240mg	25g	2g	3g	6g
Heinz Ketchup	1.00	15	0g	0mg	190mg	4g	4g	0g	0g
Altoids Cinnamon Flavored	1.00	10	0g	0mg	0mg	2g	2g	0g	0g
Mott's Applesauce (unsweetened)	1.00	50	0g	0mg	0mg	12g	11g	1g	0g
Small Supreme Protein Bar	1.00	200	8g	0mg	0mg	17g	0g	0g	15g

Finally, the one big stressor for me this week - and for the last couple of years in general - is........TMI, TMI ALERT, ALERT - I am about to break some rules here.........I warned you..............my bowel movements.  Or, lack thereof.  I have never been a "regular" person.  Santa has a cup of coffee each morning and shits 3 times a day.  Like clockwork.  I have to wish, take fiber, strain, pray, wish some more and BEG to get an inch of turd to come out.  I don't get it.  Now, mind you, this isn't ALL the time.  Sometime, I get the world's worst stomach cramps and end up crying on the bowl with horrible diarrhea.  Yep, you guessed it - IBS.  My GP diagnosed me about a year and a half ago.  She told me to start trying Citrucel.  What a shame that it took me this long to try the stuff.  Taste wise, it's not horrible.  I mix a tablespoon with water and add a tad of Crystal Lite Fruit Punch and it goes right down.  The problem?  Ugh...the stuff fills me up!  I mean, so much that I can't even fit in an evening snack.  Anyway, Day 2 of Citrucel and still nothing.  I'm pretty sure I haven't had a normal crap in 12 days.  Again, a few little bitty turds but nothing to write to the North Pole about.

The countdown is on...surgery is in 4 days.  I'm scared shitless one second and feeling great about it the next.

"I'm not going to love you any more..." & Preop Progress

That's what my 70+ year old mother said to me a few days ago. Hang on...let me back up.  We were discussing my upcoming surgery and Mom is beyond nervous.  I'll admit...I'm not exactly Mrs Relaxed right now either. 

Back to Mom...
We were discussing surgery on the way home from a WLS information session that I took her to at the hospital I'm planning to have surgery at.  I had thought her learning more about WLS and the reasons behind it, the risks of not having it and so on would help to calm her nerves.  I also knew my surgeon would be speaking and I thought it would be nice for her to meet him - again, thinking it may help her. And, I really think her attending the session did help - if only a little.

On the drive home, she said it...."You know, I'm not going to love you any more...."  WHAT?  Me: "Huh??"  Mom:  "I mean, if you're smaller, I'm not going to love you any more than I already do."  Ahh...that helps!  And, as I told her, I'm not having surgery to have her love me any more (or anyone else for that matter).  But, I do want to love myself more.  It's about time for me to love me.  All of me.  I don't love myself as much as I should.  And, I deserve to love all of me.

As for the Preop Progress....
Things are actually good as of Day 2.  Today, I've consumed:  1 ProteinBlitz Drink, 1 G2 Drink, 1 EAS Protein Bar, 2 4oz sugar-free cherry jellos, 1 cup salad, 1 tbsp red wine vinegar dressing, 4oz chicken breast with 1 cup cooked veggies (onion, green pepper, zucchini) and 1/2 cup brown rice.  Still thinking about my evening snack.     Add to that a 100-calorie Blueberry Cottage Cheese Double..mmmm.

Today's intake:  1091 calories

I've also completed Day 5 on the treadmill.  I did 30 minutes on Saturday, Sunday and Monday.  Sadly, only got 20 minutes in on Tuesday as I was running late for work.  But, today...I managed to make my 30 for the day AND added on the 10 I missed yesterday.  Total calories burned = 367

Not too shabby.  Let's just hope I can keep it up for the next 13 days.